Last week I wrote a post on sarcasm that I wanted to update somewhat today. We all see things through our own personal filter. I shared my post with my staff and asked them these 4 questions:
Is sarcasm a regualar part of your life? (you should ask 2 or 3 people close to you so you can get an objective answer)
What possible motive do you see behind the sarcasm you do use?
Have I (John Cremeans) ever hurt you with sarcasm?
Do you see sarcasm used in our workplace or on our ministry teams?
I got some great responses from our staff. The answers were as varied as are there personalities. I had to get a few things right with a couple of them for things that I had said recently. It was a good honesty chec, for me. How would you rate yourself on these questions? Hopefully #3 isn’t a factor but you never know. Tomorrow I’ll share my follow-up with my team after I read their responses.
Yesterday was one of those days I won’t forget when it comes to preaching. We hit the porn issue head on in church and I could sense God working. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. Based on the response at the end of the service there are a lot of people who need our prayers today. If this is an area where you struggle you have to reach out to someone. You need to build some accountability in your life. This isn’t the kind of issue you can white knuckle your way through. I will post some resources later this week that can educate and help in the area of sexual addiction.
I’m praying this week that you won’t suffer in silence any more. Get honest with yourself. Get rid of your stash. Confess to God and someone else. Install some accountability for your internet useage. Consider some Christian counseling to get some clarity on issues beneath the surface. You didn’t get here overnight so realize that breaking free will take time and sacrifice on your part. God can and wants to set you free.
If any of you are familiar with any resources I’d love to hear back from you so I can share them with the rest of our blog community. I love what xxx church is doing. Check this site if you get a chance.
I received a letter this week from a lady whose life, marriage, and family was devastated by pornography and sexual addiction. Her husband refused to change and get help. Ultimately, he had an affair (she later found out that this was the third affair). She has moved on and God is continuing the healing process in her life. In her letter to me she included a beautiful Puritan prayer that was especially meaningful to her during her time of grief and healing…
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine; let me find thy light in my darkness, thy life in my death, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy gloryin my valley. Amen
In Matthew 12:36 Jesus said, “Words are powerful; take them seriously.“ Sunday we busted the myth that “what I say doesn’t matter.” Jesus’ own words refute this myth…what we say does matter and how we say things matters.
What about sarcasm? Personally, I have grown to hate it. I hid behind sarcasm for many years. I also hurt a lot of people with my sarcasm. Sarcasm is defined as “a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.” How many cutting remarks do you lob out there on a daily basis that are masked behind the cover of sarcasm? Why do you go there? Does it make you feel better to cut people down? Are you masking your own insecurities that you are out of touch with? I used to need to be funny even if it came at others expense. My sarcasm was all about me…MY fear of not being in the conversation…MY fear of someone getting more recognition than me…MY fear of feeling irrelevant….and how about this one - I was so afraid of conflict that I would try to make my point through sarcasm. Sarcasm is a cowards best friend.
The New Testament teaches us to speak truth in love. That’s God’s way. Sarcasm is the enemy’s way. Proverbs 10:11 says that “the words of the Godly are a life-giving fountain.” Words that drip with sarcasm don’t infuse life into anyone, instead they cut and wound. I have no place for sarcasm in my family or on my staff. That doesn’t mean that it never happens in my home or workplace or that I never slip back into it myself - but I am passionate about seeing it stop. James said that the tongue is difficult to tame.
Words are powerful; take them seriously. Living Different means speaking different.
Do you have a problem with sarcasm? Have you been wounded by sarcasm?
Just had to say how excited this place is about the Phillies. How cool would it be to win the World Series during our series entitled “mythbusters.” You have to love this team and the way it’s put together. It would be great for the city and the region to experience a championship - I am at the parade if they win! Go Phillies!
I loved this comment from Ed Young at C3 in New York…
“Delegation without Investigation is Relegation.” I love to delegate. The process of accomplishing more through others gets me ramped up. The danger in delegating is not giving people the proper support and information they need to accomplish the task. Here are a couple of thoughts Ihave to remember in delegating?
1a. Do I have a good understanding of the person’s work load (and personal world) who I am delegating a task to. Our team is loaded down. They wear multiple hats and are required to do more than one thing well.
1b. Don’t waste time asking for someone to volunteer. No one knows our team as a unit better than me. Besides, I hate the awkward pauses that come when I wait for one of my staff to volunteer.
2. Do they have all the information and resources they need to successfully complete the task? Success is in the details and details give me a headache so I have to overcompensate in this area.
3. Have I clearly defined what a “win” looks like? The people I serve with love to win. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Defining the win takes the guess work out of the task and also keeps the door open for constructive feedback.
4. Who else will be effected by the task I have assigned? Avoid tunnel vision and zoom out and see the big picture.
5. Are there any communication loops I need to close before or after the task is assigned? This is huge for me. The larger the organization the more challenging this becomes. Our church and my credibility takes a hit when I fumble this one.
6. Is the task important? Because I am an emotional dude - I have to be careful of knee jerk impullsive tasking. Think it through. Is it really necessary or beneficial?
7. Circle back. This is the ispection part. Inspect what you expect.
What are areas you have to remember when you delegate?
I didn’t have the privilege to attend Catalyst this year like I did the past two years. I really missed being there but just couldn’t get away this year. I have kept up with Catalyst through blogs and was blown away by this post from Tim Stevens on Andy Stanley’s talk. Take the time to check it out….
I particularly was challenged by this comment…good thing I’m only 44…
The best idea for reaching the next generation isn’t going to come from the existing generation, it’s going to come from the next generation.
If you are over 45 years old, you aren’t going to have any good ideas. It’s your job to recognize the good ideas.
Don’t do to the next generation what the previous generation did to you.
I loved Ed Young’s theme for “C3 on the road”….”Ministry is brutiful!” “It is both brutal and beautiful!” Anyone who has done ministry for very long gets this. There are parts of being a pastor that just downright stink. It is a lonely job. You WILL get hurt - it comes with the territory. Some of the greatest pain I have endured in my life has come directly or indirectly from what I do. It was meaningful to me personally for our group to hear the “brutal part” from someone like Ed. I could see them soaking it in.
There is nothing like seeing and experiencing “life change.” That is the beautiful part of ministry. Seeing the light go on for people as they cross the line of faith…seeing them go public with their faith in baptism…watching them serve for the first time…hearing about their experience in a life group…meeting their friends and family they have brought to church…it doesn’t get any better than that for me!
My Mom turns sixty-something today (yes I know how old she is) but I’m not sure if she wants everyone to know. I’m blessed to have a great Mom - she has put up with a lot from me. I was a “high-maintenance” kid growing up. Add my brother Buddy into the mix and well let’s just say she had her work cut out for her between the two of us. My mom is a sentimental mess - I know this because she passed it along to me! She would call me Johnny, John Charles, John Henry (not sure where that came from) and JC…Here are a couple of key memories I treasure about my Mom…
Still remember her coming to my class when I was in 1st grade and thinking how pretty she was.
still remember her tucking me in at night!
Every Christmas she wore this ugly necklace I made for her in kindergarten.
she always let me drive her everywhere after I got my license. (this instilled a lot of self-confidence)
she would sing crazy self-written songs to me in the morning to wake me up!
she makes the best German-chocolate cake in the world.
she made a big deal of my birthdays.
she has invested hundreds of hours praying for me.
she always laughed at my jokes.
for a West-Virginia hillbilly girl who was born in a town called “Strange-Creek” she was classy. Some people just have it.
All-time classic: she got mad at me once when I was a teenager when I started laughing (I couldn’t stop for some crazy reason) and she went after me with a broom! I was much bigger than her at this stage…I had to run out of the house and wait for about an hour till things settled down. When I finally peaked my head in the door there she was with her broom (weapon of choice)..she was trying to be stern but started laughing and came over and gave me a hug. I laughed and hugged her back…but I still kept one eye on the broom.
This Monday a group from Fellowship Church will be taking time away from their normal schedules to head to upstate NY to be a part of the C3 one day conference at Northway Church. My brother Buddy is hosting the event and here is the promo to welcome you. Our group is up to 31 now and we have reserved a couple extra rooms if you want to join us! (email readers, click here)
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